The Secrets We Keep: Marital disputes leave children orphaned, families deported

From a bedroom in Dzivarasekwa Extension to an immigration office in the UK, Zimbabwean families are being shattered by the same cause: marital secrets handled without dialogue. In just days, the fallout has left children without parents, a man in hospital, and another family back home with debt and no future abroad.

In Dzivarasekwa Extension, Zimbabwe Human Rights Commission Commissioner Martin Muduva, 42, was allegedly killed by his wife Lyliosa Chirara, 43, after a dispute over a five-year relationship he had with MSU lecturer Patience Mangwiro. According to relatives, Muduva formalised the relationship with roora over the weekend and posted about it on WhatsApp. Hours later, Chirara allegedly attacked him with an axe, then took rat poison. Both died at Parirenyatwa Hospital. Their daughter found them. The couple’s three minor children are now with relatives, facing grief and financial hardship.

Days earlier in Dzivarasekwa 2, Sharline Rutendo Munenga, 29, allegedly assaulted her husband Munyaradzi Pondi, 33, after receiving information that he was involved in an extra-marital affair. Pondi was admitted to hospital with serious injuries. Munenga appeared in court on physical abuse charges and was remanded in custody.

The damage is not confined to Harare. A Zimbabwean family of five was deported from the UK after a domestic rift escalated to authorities. The wife, who held the main work visa, told immigration officials she wanted to remove her husband. During the process it emerged that one of the children, the wife’s late sister’s daughter, had not been legally declared or adopted when the family relocated. DNA tests confirmed the child was not biologically related to either parent. Citing misrepresentation, authorities deported the whole family. They returned to Zimbabwe with a US$10,000 debt and no home to go to.

Child protection experts say children are the silent victims in all three cases. Losing caregivers to death, prison or deportation often leads to trauma, depression, school drop-out and a higher risk of repeating cycles of violence. Support groups report more calls in the weeks following high-profile incidents.

Cultural commentators argue the issue is not polygamy itself but the lack of structure around modern relationships. In Shona and Ndebele tradition, taking another wife required the involvement of the first wife, elders and roora. That process was meant to protect rights and responsibilities. Today, many affairs play out in secret on social media and in “small houses” without mediation, fueling suspicion and public humiliation.

Under Zimbabwe’s Marriages Act, polygamous customary unions are legal if registered. Social acceptance, however, remains split. Gender and legal experts are calling for public education on the law, plus expanded counseling and conflict resolution services to prevent disputes from turning violent.

As one community member in Dzivarasekwa said: children must not be left to pay for choices made by adults.

Say No to domestic violence.